High off Belonging: Upgrade quit SPG

It's funny when something you thought was no longer a part of your life suddenly comes back in full force and it makes you realize how important it was to you all along. That's how it was for me when I got the news that Upgrade aka Erin Burke was quitting Steam Powered Giraffe. Those who know me know of the time in my life when SPG was a big part of it. I was their self-proclaimed "Original Fanbot" at a time when their patrons were only a small group friends. I got to see their act evolve from anonymous characters to the singing automatons their fans know and love today, but most importantly I got to know the people behind the make-up and called them my friends.....but why am I going on as if the whole band broke up? Why does it matter so much that Upgrade left? I guess the answer lies in the part of my story with them they no longer needed me so much as their following grew along with the pains that arise from being personally acquainted with the individuals of a band that you are a fan of. I suddenly found myself lost in a sea of faces wondering if they wanted me there anymore. Eventually the events I went to became less and less until I stopped going altogether. The remorse I felt for not going and supporting them like I once did also faded. At that point I had decided I had finally "outgrown" them and the Fanbot phase of my life was over. Every once in awhile I did go to a Balboa Park performance of theirs here and there but it wasn't the same. The old magic I used to feel seeing them was gone and I'd drop them some money in their tip bin (something I never did before) before I left.
Even as my interest in them dwindled I guess there was the thought in my mind that that they'd always be there as they were and I could visit them anytime the desire struck me to do so. In affect, I had taken them for granted. That's why it hurt so much when I heard Erin quit. I guess the feeling I felt can be compared to when Geri Hallawell left The Spice Girls. Even though you know she wasn't the best performer you know she added something special and unique to the group that would not be there otherwise. Not that you doubt the talents of the others to carry on in her absence and succeed, just that you know it will never be the same. In the case of SPG, Upgrade softened the inherent snarky-ness of the others and made their act more palatable to a wider audience - the usual job of the only girl in a band with three guys. They probably would not have achieved the following they have today without her and I do have doubts about whether the band can survive Upgrade-less, though the fandom seems to have gotten over the loss rather quickly. I was surprised to find that there was no announcement of her last official performance with the group or any kind of proper send-off; the announcement of her departure was made and then it was business as usual. "Come to our show! Buy our new single!" My disillusionment is now complete but there will always be my memories, evermore bittersweet than they were before of a time I can never get back. Always the blissful fanbot sitting in the front row, singing along to every word, high of that wonderful sense of belonging....